N. Lindsey

21 // Stanford University // HNL // ∞

posts i have saved in my draft

1. 


sometimes boys are like, “i like this dress,” and i’m like, “of course you like it, it’s hella tight and hella short, if you didn’t like it that would defeat the whole point of me wearing it.”

2.


it’s like before buzzfeed you could actually kind of ignore valentine’s day while you’re sitting behind your computer screen. but now every damn person wants to write a damn list about the best 200340385 gifts you can buy/DIY for your valentine. fuck you, buzzfeed.

3. 

how a person saying, “don’t be sad,” is actually what makes you saddest and then he repeats it and it almost kills you

Only Sometimes

Sometimes I think: 

"This is all bullshit. It’s bullshit that I’m at this school and you aren’t, it’s bullshit that people say we’re on different levels and it’s bullshit that part of me believes it and part of me doesn’t. Someone told me, ‘Levels only exist if you say they do,’ and I’m trying to say they don’t but I see the inequality all around me. It’s bullshit that you say what you’re doing is going to change the world when we both know that it isn’t but I guess at least you have something to say. Because I’ve spent 21 years of my life trying to figure it out and it’s bullshit that I haven’t. It’s bullshit that people who don’t want to die do and that people who want to die don’t and it’s bullshit that no one is really safe and it’s bullshit that an entire life’s worth of invincibility can crumble with a single phone call. It’s bullshit how much time we’ve spent preparing only to learn how unprepared we are. It’s bullshit that I love you and that your kisses and your eyes and your hands and your drunk self says you do but still you won’t give in. It’s bullshit that you won’t give in it’s damn fucking bullshit to say you love me in every single way except for actually saying it. It’s bullshit that I believe you do because truth is you probably don’t which is why you won’t say it. And that’s bullshit. It’s bullshit that sometimes you have to do what you don’t want to do in order to do what you want to do and it’s bullshit that I simultaneously want to be alone and not alone it’s bullshit that sometimes I feel like I have everything at my fingertips yet I can’t reach anything I want it’s bullshit that people thinks this life is easier this way when it isn’t yet we have no right to complain because we know it should be. It’s bullshit, it’s bullshit it’s bullshit it’s bullshit it’s bullfuckingshit." 

But only sometimes. 

Being sick changes everything. Suddenly who you were mad at and who you wanted to kick out of your life disappears. Now it’s all about who you need beside you in bed when you’re too tired to even sleep. It’s about the last person whose face you were blessed enough to see lit by 6am rays of light. It’s about who can drive you to the hospital in the middle of the night, who will hold your hand because he knows you’re in pain, who will answer the phone and listen to you breathe. 
We spend so much of our healthy lives thinking about who we don’t need. Being sick brings to mind those that we do. Maybe that’s the lesson we need to learn.

Being sick changes everything. Suddenly who you were mad at and who you wanted to kick out of your life disappears. Now it’s all about who you need beside you in bed when you’re too tired to even sleep. It’s about the last person whose face you were blessed enough to see lit by 6am rays of light. It’s about who can drive you to the hospital in the middle of the night, who will hold your hand because he knows you’re in pain, who will answer the phone and listen to you breathe. 

We spend so much of our healthy lives thinking about who we don’t need. Being sick brings to mind those that we do. Maybe that’s the lesson we need to learn.

xoxo

  • x: I want to marry him.
  • y: You need to calm down.

"Let us try to imagine ourselves in the world of Paracelsus, where every object and event is a symbol, and every symbol and metaphor also has objective value. It is a world full of hidden meanings, spirits and mysterious powers, full of defiance and awe as well as love and hate. How else could one live in such an impulsive, unsafe, and hazardous reality than to believe in miracles?"

Genesis and Development of a Scientific Fact // Ludwik Fleck

Better Than The Alternative

alexiatsotsis:

image

I once met Gloria SteinemIn 2006, I worked as a temp receptionist at the fancy New York City hair salon where she got her hair done. 

After I checked her in for her appointment, I asked her, having read about the seemingly insurmountable obstacles she faced in trying to accomplish her life’s work, “Why did you do it? Why did you fight so hard for what you believed in? Did you just persevere or something?”

And she responded, “I did it because it was better than the alternative.”

Josh Record – Bones (5,275 plays)

st4cy:

Josh Record || Bones

And darling when your feet are cold
Wait up, I’m coming home
And all of you, I will hold
My love will clothe your bones

(Source: fuckyeahgreysmusic)

You and Me // Sucre
Penny and the Quarters cover

#COLLEGE

I just accidentally sang the line, “Lately I’ve been thinking about you,” from Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Nylo as, “Lately I’ve been drinking about you.”

Letzzzz be real doe, my version is probably more accurate. 

"When someone makes you the happiest person and the saddest person at the same time, that’s when it’s real. That’s when it’s worth something."

— (via c-rystvllised)

(Source: these-greatexpectations, via quiescent-ailurophile)